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Communication, negotiation and seduction

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for any Publisher wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab whose rights are already sold and published. If you are interested in publishing the book in English, or any other language, or seek Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching, Mentoring and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com or www.danieletrevisani.it 

Negotiating requires the ability to seduce.

A seduction not at all sexual, but in fact comparable to courtship: the proposal must contain “appeal“, must respond to the impulses and needs of the interlocutor. A forced proposal is not negotiation in the strict sense but imposition. A poorly digested condition, moreover, lends itself much more to being refused a posteriori, disregarded, or not applied.

For thousands of years, theorists of each discipline have encouraged people to adapt their art to the different situations in which they will have to operate, recognizing the need to calibrate the strategy towards the interlocutor, creating a communication centered on the recipients. Aristotle, in Rhetoric, deals with public seduction and persuasion. He invites the politician to dynamically use ethos (credibility), logos (dialectical art) and pathos (ability to arouse emotions), centering the audience in being more intimate than him.

There is a seduction component in every negotiation In the Kamasutra of Vatsyayana – a classic Indian treatise on seduction – a sequence of different types of bite is listed, designed to cause pleasure: the hidden bite, the swollen bite, the point, the line of points, the coral and the jewel, the of jewels, the unbroken cloud, and finally the bite of the wild boar. The good seducer will have to adapt the type of bite to the situation. Western managers often use the “boar bite” (whatever action it is) a priori, perhaps receiving sound slaps in response, where perhaps the “hidden bite” would have given the desired effects. We are using a joking metaphor to express a message that is nevertheless strong: the communication strategy must take into account the cultural traits of the counterpart.

Let’s see an example of a micro-conversation between the Italian area manager and a possible Russian importer:

Area Manager: What guarantees can you give us?

Importer: What guarantees do you need?

Area Manager: Well, you need to learn how to sell our products, however don’t worry because we will give you courses, if you can’t pay them we discount them from commissions.

The Russian interlocutor perceives a latent message (“you are incapable”, “you are poor”, “you need”) linked to the course offer. The sentence touches the interlocutor’s entire cultic system, stirs a wounded “Russian pride” and the memories of suffering of an entire people. The Italian area manager has been able to destroy the corporate ethos in a few moves (giving the image of a company completely unprepared to negotiate with foreign interlocutors), using a dialectic based on “a priori” conflict (humiliate them), thus arousing emotions of revenge and revenge (at a minimum) in the interlocutor. A strategy of total ineffectiveness, based on wrong assumptions.

The offer of a course, presented in this way, does not create added value and aims solely at the disqualification of the interlocutor. Both Aristotle and Vatsyayana would have rejected this area manager. In this micro-negotiation there have been several “judgment biases” or errors of judgment, and neither of them have achieved any results. As research on the accuracy of intercultural assessments shows, the error of judgment (misunderstanding who you are dealing with, or badly decoding a message) – an error already present at an intra-cultural level – is enhanced by cultural distances, and it is one of the most destructive factors in negotiation.

To overcome the judgment biases it is necessary to take action, to prepare. Intercultural communication requires commitment, at the level of:

  • understanding of the cultural system with which one interacts;
  • knowledge of the underlying values ​​and beliefs of the interlocutor;
  • social identification: what status does the interlocutor have in his membership system;
  • methods of non-verbal communication;
  • analysis and resolution of conflicts. Every intercultural negotiator should have strong expertise on these matters in their curriculum.

Principle 9 – Training in intercultural communication

The success of negotiation communication depends on:

  • from the depth of communication training;
  • the ability to put into practice communicative skills of trans-cultural value;
  • the ability to identify communicative characteristics and specific cultural traits of the interlocutor to pay attention to.

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for any Publisher wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab whose rights are already sold and published. If you are interested in publishing the book in English, or any other language, or seek Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching, Mentoring and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

For further information see:

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intercultural negotiation

Apparent details and systems of signification

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Consulting Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for qualified Publishers wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab. If you are interested in publishing or Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

Principle 8 – Details as indicators of worldviews

The company also negotiates on apparent details. The apparent details contain a different view of the world. When you have to decide which format to give to a training course – choosing to do eight hours in a full day or take the course in spare time – a culture of training and a culture of man is manifested.

We may have different opinions on whether a high-intensity training intervention in full-immersion is more productive (eg: five full days), or that it is better to do one day a month; we can discuss whether it is better to treat participants with gloves (“the customer is always right” cultural trait), or to act decisively to achieve profound change.

Of a possible project, we have exposed a small detail, but we can have different opinions on an innumerable amount of other details. These apparent details – it must be remembered – are not just details – but whole worldviews. Every detail is – from a semiotic point of view – a system of signification, an antenna that communicates the content of entire underlying worlds.

Principle 8 – Details as indicators of worldviews

The success of negotiation communication depends on:

  • from the recognition of the importance of details as indicators of world views (details as systems of extended signification);
  • the ability to manage details with strategic attention.

Returning to the example, the degree of “morbidity” of the training intervention is considered so much a detail that it is sometimes not even discussed in a course design, but behind the detail lies the more or less martial vision of education and life , people’s history and experiences, and their worldview. Behind the temporal concentration of an educational intervention, or its distribution in several phases, lies the philosophy of time, a philosophy of gradual change vs. a culture of immediate results.

The very way in which a course is communicated, prepared, ritualized – or trivialized – denotes a different vision of human resources and the entire culture of the human being who works. Each apparent detail contains a possible different view of the world. It is for this reason that negotiation – understood as “building something together” – requires commitment and science, starting from the basic issues down to the details.

There is also a different way of looking at trading. We can focus on the level of interpersonal negotiation or on an organizational level of negotiation (corporate, or between entities / institutions). In both cases, what matters is to grasp the different cultural and worldview dimension that the interlocutors possess.

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for any Publisher wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab whose rights are already sold and published. If you are interested in publishing the book in English, or in Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

For further information see:

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intercultural negotiation

The Common Ground Research

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for any Publisher wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab whose rights are already sold and published. If you are interested in publishing the book in English, or any other language, or seek Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching, Mentoring and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

The importance of working together

Two subjects who have identical visions and identical objectives, two mental clones, do not need to enter into a real negotiation and will not be able to build anything original and “more creative than the single“, working together, as their baggage is identical.

On the other hand, when different visions, different conceptions, different needs emerge, the negotiation comes into play, as well as the possibility of creatively building by drawing on different baggage. Negotiation means actively engaging in the search for a solution that satisfies two or more interlocutors who start from culturally different positions, bringing out (1) latent differences and (2) common foundations on which to rest.

We are negotiating while negotiating a price or a purchase – and this is evident – but also while discussing which movie to see (sentimental or action), or what to do on the weekend or on vacation (sea, mountains, rest, work, visits. family, sport) starting from different tastes and preferences.

Principle 7 – Negotiation prerequisites

The success of negotiation communication depends on:

  • the degree of commitment / willingness of each subject to actively seek a mutually satisfying solution (win-win approach);
  • the ability to accurately recognize the factors that make the starting position or the interests of the parties different (recognition of differences);
  • from the use of past diversities to the conscious state, as a driving force and creative;
  • from research and construction of common ground on which to gradually build a solution. In a family, a negotiation on “which vacation to take” will be largely unproductive if it starts with the discussion of specific details such as the name of the hotel or the location, and does not go into – first of all – the search for the experiential common ground: which type holiday do we want to do together? What kind of experience does one want and what does the other want? In our mind, what are the aspirations related to vacation (relaxation, adventure, exploration, leisure, care, safety, risk, closeness, distance, exotic vacation, ethnic, cultural, and other background elements), and where are our differences of bottom? Even between companies, it is inopportune and risky to start a negotiation on the details (price, times, dates, places) without having defined what type of relationship you want (even if only “want”, not necessarily “impose”). For example, in every purchase / sale negotiation it will be necessary to understand if we are talking about a “one-off” sale, a “product test”, the search for a “continuity supplier”, the search for a “scientific partner research and development “, and other basic connotations.

intercultural negotiation daniele trevisani arab edition

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for any Publisher wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab whose rights are already sold and published. If you are interested in publishing the book in English, or any other language, or seek Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching, Mentoring and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

For further information see:

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Corporate memetics

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Consulting Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for qualified Publishers wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab. If you are interested in publishing or Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

Where our ideas come from, how they enter the company, and our attempts to make them survive

A healthy life (personal but also corporate) requires awareness of what beliefs, values ​​or teachings we are putting into practice, and above all recognizes the fact that they have been acquired by acculturation, have been assimilated by the surrounding environment – from family to school to religion – have “entered” and the subject himself is impregnated with it. Human beings are full of “memes“, of mental traces, ideas, beliefs, learned from other human beings (face-to-face) or from mediated sources. Even companies are full of “ideas” or “mental traces” often suffered rather than built.

Memetics – as a new discipline in the social sciences landscape – deals with how ideas or “memes” are transmitted from person to person, from group to group, as well as how genetics deals with the transmission of genes and hereditary heritages . The ideas that each of us carries have been learned by someone (in large part), and we ourselves have partly modified them, becoming bearers of memes. Who brought these ideas within us? Who brought them to the company? How did they spread? Who is a healthy carrier? Are they all good or are some of them harmful viruses?

As soon as two cultures meet, we discover that our memes are different from those of others, but in “reproductive” terms we try to replicate our own rather than accept those of others. At the center of intercultural negotiation there is not only the question of who “is right” about the details, but even the attempt to make their “memes” survive, to reproduce their own vision of things, sometimes to impose it. This behavior from the ethological point of view of the “human animal” is normal, it responds to the principles of conservation of the species. Like any animal being tries to reproduce its genes, the social being tries to reproduce its ideas (“memes”) and pass them on to others.

The concept of “memetics” (expressed by several scientists) lends itself well to studying how ideas are transmitted from person to person, from group to group, as does “genetics” with the transmission and replication of genes. Intercultural negotiation does not consist only in an encounter between different positions in detail, but in the clash between subjects carrying a different “memetic”, a different “cultural genetics” or personal heritage. There is therefore a first strong awareness that makes the intercultural negotiator more effective: the awareness of one’s own culture, of one’s active “memes”. This awareness does not mean rejection and must not automatically produce rejection of what has been learned culturally, but only and simply awareness of what has been learned (what), of the sources (from whom), and of the history of one’s learning (when).

The analysis is carried out on several levels. – On the general level of one’s own learning and acculturation. Ex:

  • What did they teach you in the family, as basic values, openly or by example? § And, in the company: what are the circulating ideas?
  • What are the dominant currents?
  • Who is its spokesperson?
  • Who entered them, since when?
  • Which are to be maintained, which are harmful?
  • Which are firm? Which do you apply occasionally?
  • Which ones do you adhere to unconditionally?
  • Which ones do you find deleterious and would you change?
  • In terms of specific behaviors and actions. Ex:
  • (for a commercial) who did you learn to sell from?
  • what did they teach you, what values ​​did they transmit to you, how were you “set up”?
  • For any manager: Has anyone taught you to relax, to think from above? What orientation towards time have you absorbed? A long-term or a short-term thought? who gave you examples from which you assimilated something? How aware are you?

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for any Publisher wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab whose rights are already sold and published. If you are interested in publishing the book in English, or in Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

For further information see:

Categories
intercultural negotiation

Corporate Memetics: Understanding Intercultural Negotiation in Business

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for any Publisher wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab whose rights are already sold and published. If you are interested in publishing the book in English, or any other language, or seek Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching, Mentoring and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

Where our ideas come from, how they enter the company, and our attempts to make them survive

A healthy life (personal but also corporate) requires awareness of what beliefs, values ​​or teachings we are putting into practice, and above all recognizes the fact that they have been acquired by acculturation, have been assimilated by the surrounding environment – from family to school to religion – have “entered” and the subject himself is impregnated with it. Human beings are full of “memes“, of mental traces, ideas, beliefs, learned from other human beings (face-to-face) or from mediated sources. Even companies are full of “ideas” or “mental traces” often suffered rather than built.

Memetics – as a new discipline in the social sciences landscape – deals with how ideas or “memes” are transmitted from person to person, from group to group, as well as how genetics deals with the transmission of genes and hereditary heritages . The ideas that each of us carries have been learned by someone (in large part), and we ourselves have partly modified them, becoming bearers of memes. Who brought these ideas within us? Who brought them to the company? How did they spread? Who is a healthy carrier? Are they all good or are some of them harmful viruses?

As soon as two cultures meet, we discover that our memes are different from those of others, but in “reproductive” terms we try to replicate our own rather than accept those of others. At the center of intercultural negotiation there is not only the question of who “is right” about the details, but even the attempt to make their “memes” survive, to reproduce their own vision of things, sometimes to impose it. This behavior from the ethological point of view of the “human animal” is normal, it responds to the principles of conservation of the species. Like any animal being tries to reproduce its genes, the social being tries to reproduce its ideas (“memes”) and pass them on to others.

The concept of “memetics” (expressed by several scientists) lends itself well to studying how ideas are transmitted from person to person, from group to group, as does “genetics” with the transmission and replication of genes. Intercultural negotiation does not consist only in an encounter between different positions in detail, but in the clash between subjects carrying a different “memetic”, a different “cultural genetics” or personal heritage. There is therefore a first strong awareness that makes the intercultural negotiator more effective: the awareness of one’s own culture, of one’s active “memes”. This awareness does not mean rejection and must not automatically produce rejection of what has been learned culturally, but only and simply awareness of what has been learned (what), of the sources (from whom), and of the history of one’s learning (when).

The analysis is carried out on several levels. – On the general level of one’s own learning and acculturation. Ex:

  • What did they teach you in the family, as basic values, openly or by example? § And, in the company: what are the circulating ideas?
  • What are the dominant currents?
  • Who is its spokesperson?
  • Who entered them, since when?
  • Which are to be maintained, which are harmful?
  • Which are firm? Which do you apply occasionally?
  • Which ones do you adhere to unconditionally?
  • Which ones do you find deleterious and would you change?
  • In terms of specific behaviors and actions. Ex:
  • (for a commercial) who did you learn to sell from?
  • what did they teach you, what values ​​did they transmit to you, how were you “set up”?
  • For any manager: Has anyone taught you to relax, to think from above? What orientation towards time have you absorbed? A long-term or a short-term thought? who gave you examples from which you assimilated something? How aware are you?

intercultural negotiation daniele trevisani arab edition

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for any Publisher wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab whose rights are already sold and published. If you are interested in publishing the book in English, or any other language, or seek Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching, Mentoring and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

For further information see:

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intercultural negotiation

Awareness of one’s own culture and sources

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Consulting Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for qualified Publishers wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab. If you are interested in publishing or Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

Principle 5 – Awareness of one’s own cultural sources

Successful communication depends on awareness:

  • personal sources (individuals) who have made significant imprints on their own system of beliefs and behaviors;
  • mediated sources (media, books, readings, films) that have affected one’s personal culture;
  • the times of assimilation and its significant phases and milestones;
  • the depth of assimilation into the Self of the different cultural rules, norms, guides, laws and teachings that are adopted;
  • the ability to recognize the factors and people from which specific skills, attitudes and behaviors practiced today at work and at a professional level have been assimilated (e.g. where and from whom the styles and behaviors of negotiation and relationship used today have been learned) . You can accept to keep a cultural rule with you, or you can consciously decide to try to eliminate it from your way of being, but only after having become aware of its existence (cultural self-determination). In the ALM method, the individual is seen as a cell capable of applying positive osmosis (exchanging flows of knowledge and experiences with the environment). As in any cell, without exchange there is neither nourishment nor elimination of toxins. Thus, even in intercultural communication it is necessary to know how to eliminate the cultural toxins that prevent the proper functioning of the Self, and to know how to open up to the introduction of new elements.

Principle 6 – Cultural self-determination and internal cultural locus-of-control Successful communication depends on:

  • the subject’s ability to choose which cultural rules and cultural traits to keep in their personal baggage (cultural set);
  • the subject’s ability to choose which cultural rules and cultural traits to eliminate from one’s set;
  • the subject’s ability to choose which new cultural rules and new traits to acquire in his personal baggage;
  • from the basic awareness of the fact that it is possible to carry out an analysis of discovery and awareness of one’s own culture, to regain control of the cultural rules that apply.

This achievement depends on the revision of the sense of control over one’s destiny, events, and even one’s own culture, seen as something on which the subject can act (internal locus-of-control). The intercultural negotiator is alive – like a biological cell – when open to his own change and exchange with the environment.

He is dead and produces disastrous results when he refuses to accept that differences exist and must be understood and analyzed. The greater its capacity for exchange and osmosis with the environment, the greater the level of psycho-physiological fitness. The intercultural being is just as dead when it does not possess its own identity, unconditionally accepts the “memetics” of others and rejects its heritage, dispersing the good it has to offer to the rich relationship.

As in many human activities, a successful outcome requires the ability to find a balance between (1) a tendency towards unconditional acceptance of the culture of others (cultural hypocrisy) and (2) a tendency towards the unconditional imposition of one’s own culture on the other (imperialism cultural). States of consciousness feed cultural identities. Being Italian and having been raised in Italian culture produces a vision of the world that can be assimilated to a state of conscience, and some behaviors – for example, all sitting at the table in the family – enter the sphere of normality of that state of conscience.

It is normal to eat together in Italy, just as it is normal for an American university student to do homework and exercises in the canteen and carefully avoid talking to diners. It is very rare to see an Italian university student sitting at a table with other friends not talking, and closing on the book with paper and pen. It can happen, but it is not part of Italian culture. Just as it is strange for an Italian to think that the most popular place in an American university town on Sunday evening, around midnight, is the library.

Arriving at the table late and leaving earlier is not culturally correct in standard Italian culture, but it is normal in American culture, spending the night at the computer center is good for an American student, horrible for an Italian. For a certain “clever” Italian culture, spending a night studying is something you don’t want to let anyone know, so as not to be pointed out as “geeks“. For the American student, copying is reprehensible, for the Italian it is cunning. These are different “memes” that circulate: “if you copy you are smart” vs. “If you copy you are a failure”. Each intercultural negotiation brings with it different “memes”. The problem with cultures is that their unwritten norms come in “without knocking”, by osmosis, and these norms become tangible only when there is contact with a different culture.

For example, an Italian student who offers an American colleague to copy his homework, to make him a friend, instead of strengthening a bond will be pointed out, rejected and relegated. Companies also have different cultures, just as corporate areas (administration, sales, purchasing, production) have their own and distinct cultures. Due to the great variety of inputs to which one is exposed, there is no creature that reasons with the exact same mental patterns as another. In this context, people find themselves negotiating and communicating.

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for any Publisher wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab whose rights are already sold and published. If you are interested in publishing the book in English, or in Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

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Intercultural Negotiation. The Awareness of One’s Own Culture and Cultural Roots

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for any Publisher wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab whose rights are already sold and published. If you are interested in publishing the book in English, or any other language, or seek Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching, Mentoring and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

Principle 5 – Awareness of one’s own cultural sources

Successful intercultural communication and intercultural negotiation depends on awareness of:

  • personal sources (individuals) who have made significant imprints on their own system of beliefs and behaviors;
  • mediated sources (media, books, readings, films) that have affected one’s personal culture;
  • the times of assimilation and its significant phases and milestones;
  • the depth of assimilation into the Self of the different cultural rules, norms, guides, laws and teachings that are adopted;
  • the ability to recognize the factors and people from which specific skills, attitudes and behaviors practiced today at work and at a professional level have been assimilated (e.g. where and from whom the styles and behaviors of negotiation and relationship used today have been learned) . You can accept to keep a cultural rule with you, or you can consciously decide to try to eliminate it from your way of being, but only after having become aware of its existence (cultural self-determination). In the ALM method, the individual is seen as a cell capable of applying positive osmosis (exchanging flows of knowledge and experiences with the environment). As in any cell, without exchange there is neither nourishment nor elimination of toxins. Thus, even in intercultural communication it is necessary to know how to eliminate the cultural toxins that prevent the proper functioning of the Self, and to know how to open up to the introduction of new elements.

Principle 6 – Cultural self-determination and internal cultural locus-of-control Successful communication depends on:

  • the subject’s ability to choose which cultural rules and cultural traits to keep in their personal baggage (cultural set);
  • the subject’s ability to choose which cultural rules and cultural traits to eliminate from one’s set;
  • the subject’s ability to choose which new cultural rules and new traits to acquire in his personal baggage;
  • from the basic awareness of the fact that it is possible to carry out an analysis of discovery and awareness of one’s own culture, to regain control of the cultural rules that apply.

This achievement depends on the revision of the sense of control over one’s destiny, events, and even one’s own culture, seen as something on which the subject can act (internal locus-of-control). The intercultural negotiator is alive – like a biological cell – when open to his own change and exchange with the environment.

He is dead and produces disastrous results when he refuses to accept that differences exist and must be understood and analyzed. The greater its capacity for exchange and osmosis with the environment, the greater the level of psycho-physiological fitness. The intercultural being is just as dead when it does not possess its own identity, unconditionally accepts the “memetics” of others and rejects its heritage, dispersing the good it has to offer to the rich relationship.

As in many human activities, a successful outcome requires the ability to find a balance between (1) a tendency towards unconditional acceptance of the culture of others (cultural hypocrisy) and (2) a tendency towards the unconditional imposition of one’s own culture on the other (imperialism cultural). States of consciousness feed cultural identities. Being Italian and having been raised in Italian culture produces a vision of the world that can be assimilated to a state of conscience, and some behaviors – for example, all sitting at the table in the family – enter the sphere of normality of that state of conscience.

It is normal to eat together in Italy, just as it is normal for an American university student to do homework and exercises in the canteen and carefully avoid talking to diners. It is very rare to see an Italian university student sitting at a table with other friends not talking, and closing on the book with paper and pen. It can happen, but it is not part of Italian culture. Just as it is strange for an Italian to think that the most popular place in an American university town on Sunday evening, around midnight, is the library.

Arriving at the table late and leaving earlier is not culturally correct in standard Italian culture, but it is normal in American culture, spending the night at the computer center is good for an American student, horrible for an Italian. For a certain “clever” Italian culture, spending a night studying is something you don’t want to let anyone know, so as not to be pointed out as “geeks“. For the American student, copying is reprehensible, for the Italian it is cunning. These are different “memes” that circulate: “if you copy you are smart” vs. “If you copy you are a failure”. Each intercultural negotiation brings with it different “memes”. The problem with cultures is that their unwritten norms come in “without knocking”, by osmosis, and these norms become tangible only when there is contact with a different culture.

For example, an Italian student who offers an American colleague to copy his homework, to make him a friend, instead of strengthening a bond will be pointed out, rejected and relegated. Companies also have different cultures, just as corporate areas (administration, sales, purchasing, production) have their own and distinct cultures. Due to the great variety of inputs to which one is exposed, there is no creature that reasons with the exact same mental patterns as another. In this context, people find themselves negotiating and communicating.

intercultural negotiation daniele trevisani arab edition

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for any Publisher wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab whose rights are already sold and published. If you are interested in publishing the book in English, or any other language, or seek Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching, Mentoring and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

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Cultures as States of Consciousness

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Consulting Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for qualified Publishers wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab. If you are interested in publishing or Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

State of sleep and state of consciousness

Intercultural communication can be conceived as a contact between different states of consciousness, a bridge between distant mental universes. The state of sleep is a state of consciousness, as is wakefulness, or relaxation, agitation and anxiety, or daydreaming. Italian culture is a state of consciousness, as is American or Chinese culture. Each culture enables the subject to pay more attention to certain aspects of the world and to neglect or ignore others.

Eskimos see over ten types of snow and have words for each of them. We see a single snow. For us snow is snow, that’s all. We struggle to even think that there are ten snows. According to the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis and psycholinguistics studies, the same language forms a structure of reality and shapes the reality we see. Every human being perceives reality in a different way, so (however difficult it is to accept) there is no “one reality” but more reality depending on the mental schemes used for perception (multiple reality theory). Ten different people, on a joint journey, will give ten different accounts of the same journey, despite having been exposed to the same external phenomena.

An external phenomenon (presumed objective reality) does not automatically produce the same subjective experience of the phenomenon (perceptual reality). This is unacceptable to some, the rejection of this concept produces human and managerial rigidity, conflicts, wars, economic disasters, and business failures. Incommunicability arises even within the individual himself, who is dissociated between his own conscious self (for example, professional identity) and his own unconscious (seat of dreams, aspirations, ancestral drives and instincts).

The individual who does not communicate with himself (for example, in the inner dialogue between the rational component, emotions and animal instinct) has difficulty in recognizing his own emotional states, does not understand some of his behaviors or does not know how to explain them, would like to be in one way – eg: extroverted, assertive, calm, integrated, comfortable, confident, flexible – and is in the opposite condition, unable to understand why. At the same time, the individual who “does not know” applies cultural rules and patterns without being aware of them, acts without awareness of what rules, principles, precepts, canons, directions, customs, guidelines or implicit theories he is using.

Principle 4 – Internal incommunicability of the individual himself Successful communication depends on:

  • the ability to put the intra-individual components in contact with each other, and unblock communication between the different components of the subject himself (conscious, subconscious and unconscious levels);
  • the degree of awareness acquired by the subject himself with respect to his own culture, in terms of values, beliefs, patterns, attitudes and other acquired cultural traits;
  • the ability to remove intrapsychic “background noise” (anxieties, worries, fixations, psychological noises) and to implement a strong mental presence during meetings and communicative exchanges.

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for any Publisher wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab whose rights are already sold and published. If you are interested in publishing the book in English, or in Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

For further information see:

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        • Intercultural Communication
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The birth of incommunicability as an expressive and empathic block

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Consulting Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for qualified Publishers wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab. If you are interested in publishing or Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

Recognizing and blocking cognitive stiffening

The problem of incommunicability has social origins. In the full development of their expressiveness, children and adolescents learn that to be honest, problems arise, and that dedicating time to others is a waste of resources. Stereotypes are born, pre-packaged rules, fluid mental schemes become rigid and are consolidated in the form of beliefs and dogmas. While formal educational systems support the importance of expressiveness and communication, real educational behaviors instead teach exactly the opposite: to close oneself, to defend oneself, not to let go, to be suspicious, not to make people understand how one feels “otherwise take advantage “.

Companies also teach this (basic rule of “do not trust”) handed down from the experience of the “elderly” of the company to young people. In fact, it happens that in the reality of the company, the honesty of others is absolutely not to be taken for granted, not even the intentions, and a permanent alert condition is created, a climate of suspicion that permeates every start of a relationship and every negotiation. This climate has solid foundations in reality and is not a mere construction.

However, this condition of “alert” must become a conscious tactical choice and not a constant state fixed a priori, an “immovable cast” or cognitive block that prevents a confrontation. Only from an open confrontation and from real behavioral tests it will be possible to understand if the other party has serious intentions or is reliable. Many managers, on the other hand, are in an irremovable plaster of a condition of closure and rigidity (cognitive stiffening) and this prevents them from negotiating effectively. Little by little, the blocking of external expressions becomes the inability to recognize what is happening inside. At the best of his listening and expression abilities, the child knows how to express himself with his whole body, he knows how to externalize, he understands moods even without the need for words.

Having become an adult and a manager, this child transforms – after years of corporate life – into a mummified monolith, selfish, closed, centered only on himself, now unable to understand relational dynamics, sometimes even elementary and banal. We note this in a purchase negotiation, when a buyer cannot understand the difference between buying a “piece of goods” or “finding a serious partner”, a supplier of professionalism even before “pieces”. The reality is full of people who cannot explain their need (if you buy) or their value (if you sell). In these conditions, the plastered monolith finds himself doing business, negotiating, having to communicate, express himself, sometimes he even has to understand others (difficult task) and listen (almost impossible task), and he can’t. As we can easily imagine, he will have problems, and the companies he works for will have problems too.

And if he is also a mother or a father, he will also bring these difficulties within the family, handing down a trans-generational psychic discomfort towards his children. There is therefore a meta-goal for each person and group: the unblocking of cognitive rigidity. It is essential to work to recognize one’s own stereotypes and beliefs (or, as we will address in the volume on advanced techniques, one’s “cognitive prototypes”), to act actively to understand them, to identify one’s own states of incommunicability, to commit oneself to eliminate or reduce it, not to wait until communication improves passively or “by a miracle”, but commit yourself personally, as an absolute priority.

Principle 3 – Breaking of incommunicability as a meta-objective Successful communication depends on:

  • from the awareness of the intercultural dimension of communication;
  • the degree of commitment and awareness of both members of communication to reduce the negative effects of incommunicability.

© Article translated from the book “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali” (Intercultural Negotiation: Communication Beyond Cultural Barriers) copyright Dr. Daniele Trevisani Intercultural Negotiation Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission. The Book’s rights are on sale and are available for any Publisher wishing to consider it for publication in English and other languages except for Italian and Arab whose rights are already sold and published. If you are interested in publishing the book in English, or in Intercultural Negotiation Training, Coaching and Consulting, please feel free to contact the author from the webstite www.danieletrevisani.com 

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Communication that works vs. lack of communication

Article translated from the text “Negoziazione interculturale, comunicazione oltre le barriere culturali”, copyright FrancoAngeli Editore and Dr. Daniele Trevisani Business Training and Coaching, published with the author’s permission.

The repercussions on company performance and personal relationships

Lack of communication is the condition that prevents people from coming into deep contact and sharing thoughts. Constructive communication instead aims to activate a meaningful exchange between two or more minds in order to “build something together”. The very essence of negotiation is an attempt to “build together,” driven by the need to “act with” to achieve goals that none of the parties – alone – is able to achieve (“act without“). The need to cooperate leads people and companies to have to exchange something, meet, and in a certain sense it forces them to communicate.

Many people on the planet experience incommunicability every day, and want to switch to more constructive communication, they want it with their heart, but they don’t know how to do it. There is literally a lack of operational tools – in the school and in the company – to systematically address the problem of incommunicability and divert energy towards constructive communication. We can immediately imagine what the effects of a negotiation meeting or a human relationship dominated by incommunicability are: conflict, misunderstanding, disagreement, anxiety, distance. Our aim is to understand which levers to act on to transform a possible incommunicability into a constructive encounter. The problem of incommunicability affects the most diverse spheres: we see it in the relationships between husband and wife, between parents and children, between teachers and students, between friends, between colleagues, between companies, but – at a higher level – between religions, nations , different regions.

This “monster” also acts in the contact between companies in business relationships. Consumer societies, mass media, schools, even family education, feed it when they block the expression of emotions, and empathic listening, educating people to be more and more individualistic, closed, selfish, centered only on of himself. The result of growing up in an emotionally dead society creates an attitude of closure: stopping listening and understanding, stiffening, becoming unable to be flexible and adaptive, to be effective outside one’s “confined space“. The problem of inability to communicate is immediately connected to that of the performance and results of teamwork in companies. There is no advanced human performance in which it is possible to act alone. Wherever one operates with others, cultural micro-collisions occur. Even the loneliest of navigators must agree with the boat designers the equipment and facilities that he will want to have on board, and a micro-collision of cultures takes place (sailor vs. engineer), which can only be overcome with the search for a common intent and a common language. In individual sports, the athlete must communicate with their coach at various stages of preparation, also giving space to a cultural micro-collision (athlete vs. methodologist).

The same happens in every purchase negotiation, for example in the purchase of a training course, between the culture of a serious educator or trainer (gradual results and the result of a path of growth) and the culture of a purchasing office or a manager commercial (results immediately) The only possibility of cooperation is given by the search for a common goal. This requires “dismantling” diversity, recognizing them, getting them out of the back room of communication and bringing them into the spotlight. When communication is blocked, groups and relationships stop working and performance drops or is completely canceled, no common goal is reached.

To make communication work, at least two conditions are needed: (1) willingness to communicate (openness to dialogue) and (2) communication skills (communication skills). Both points are critical and their absence or gaps in one or more factors produce incommunicability. We can classify each communicative situation within a matrix, where we identify both the optimal communication conditions (high willingness to communicate and high skills), and the worst conditions (lack of willingness and openness to dialogue, and technical-methodological inability). In this matrix we can place a large part of human and professional interactions, but it represents only a start, a simple moment of initial reflection.

Simple matrix for the classification of communicative situations


Each group of people with a common purpose immediately becomes a team, a team, and takes on a new identity. There is the identity of subject A, the identity of subject B, and the identity of the team itself, consisting of A + B. Each team, as everyone knows, can perform well or badly. If we imagine a team of people (husband, wife) or managers (buyer, buyer) or officials (ambassadors, delegates), we can ask ourselves what is the “performance” of this team, understood as the group’s ability to build something, conclude a project, or make a dream come true. We immediately see that this team must communicate in order to function, it cannot act without communicating.

The phenomenon of “performance breakdown” caused by incommunicability is all the more evident the less there are escape routes. During a quarrel in the company or at home it is possible to physically abandon the situation, physically leave the setting, but from a boat in the open ocean, or from a spaceship, or from an airliner, it is not possible to physically exit. It is precisely in these extreme situations that the most serious repercussions of incommunicability have been noted, up to the death of entire crews, even for simple misunderstandings between the aircraft commander and the control tower, or internal quarrels between the crews that lead to serious distractions from the task. primary. Lack of communication produces death, wars and accidents are a clear manifestation of this. Relationship failures are just a more nuanced expression, but no less dramatic.

A separation or divorce (in the family) or the failure of an important contract (in the company) can be traumatic events. There are no wars that are not preceded by failures in relationships – by important signs of incommunicability – and therefore studying incommunicability means studying the precursors of conflict and success in human relationships.

Principle 1 – Relationship between incommunicability and performance Successful communication depends on:

  • the desire to initiate a dialogue (willingness to dialogue);
  • the will / ability to initiate a dialogue open to confrontation (openness to dialogue);
  • the communication skills (communication skills) of both interactors;
  • from the awareness of cultural differences between subjects;
  • the ability to minimize misunderstanding (language barriers) and misunderstanding (psychological barriers) between members of a group.

Exercise in detecting incommunicability signals Identify a relationship on a personal or business level and begin to perceive, perceive, become aware of the signs of incommunicability that the relationship brings out. The exercise requires the presence of a subject A (interviewer, analyst) and a subject B (interviewee, client). A will have to interview B trying to help him identify the signs, in the form of:

  • strange, incomprehensible or only partially understood behavior;
  • misunderstandings about the details;
  • differences in vision and underlying objectives;
  • dissonances and inconsistencies;
  • latent, creeping conflicts;
  • manifest, evident conflicts;
  • … other elements that may emerge from the analysis. Example of starting questions: “Tell me about something that has gone wrong with a colleague of yours, or with a client, lately”. Proceed with the interview and explore the factors that led to the case.
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